Fetish life was just beginning……
In Tim’s usual fashion, he wanted to take me to a peep show in NYC. At the time, any new fantasy or sexual exploration seemed like fun to me! I, of course agreed and off we went to NYC to see the peep show girls for the first time- all the while, tripping our balls off.
As we crossed over George Washington bridge, it seemed as if the lights were melting into the skyline of the Big Apple. We parked the car near 9th ave and strolled a few blocks, laughing, looking very slutty and extremely lit. I was very excited for this new experience. As we approached 8th Avenue and 42nd Street, this one building lit up in the front like a carnival. The place is called Show World, one of the most well known Peep Show venues in the world. My eyes were wide open in awe. as we entered. It is brightly lit with mirrors and weird, exotic people everywhere.
There was a large staircase which was also brightly lit with arrows illuminating the neon words ‘Girls, Girls, Girls’. It was spectacular!
We entered the first level and just took a slow stroll around, taking it all in. There were booths with sexy women in front of them- each with a different pose, smile or gimmick meant to lure you into their booth. As I mentioned earlier, we were tripping our balls off and it took me a minute to calm down after seeing all of these different kinds of women trying to get our attention.
I’m sure Tim had visited this place before because it seemed like he was looking for something specific. He took me by the hand and we went downstairs to the basement of the place. We thought we would be a little kinky, maybe we will do our first peep show with transvestites. At the time we didn’t have all these politically correct names in the gay community- we had crossdressers and transvestites- those were the most commonly used terms back then. Anyway, it was like a deep dark dungeon down there. As much as we wanted to be turned on, it just felt like we were going to be robbed or something. They were very extremely aggressive and not in a comfortable way. so after feeling totally freaked out by that experience we went back up upstairs to where the light and the girls were. There are a couple of other levels there, so on the third level we took a stroll around. I’m a little bolder now and I see a girl who I think is extremely sexy. She was a redhead with very white, milky skin and a very sexy smile. Her eyes just went through me. I told Tim that this was the girl that we were going to do our first Peep Show with. We enter the booth and there is a phone with which you talk to the girl and of course, a partition slides up between us so we can see the girl on the other side. Only one of us could talk at one time so I talked to her. She proceeded to tell me to give my husband a blowjob and to hand the phone over to him. I was mesmerized by her! She really turned me on with her seductive look and sexual prowess. I did exactly what I was told- I got on my knees and handed the phone to Tim. She talked dirty to him while I sucked him off, and she talked to me as I bent over and got it from behind. She was totally professional and totally knew what she was doing. I’m glad she did because it excited me to have this wild crazy experience without actually touching the other person. I enjoyed that a lot!
I was so fascinated by the whole experience that I decided I needed to go do a peep show booth myself. I felt like dancing and modeling just wasn’t enough anymore. I always had to keep advancing deeper into the next step in the sexual arena, and I needed more! I never imagined that this would be such a learning experience. I liked the whole idea of having the partition between us. I wasn’t into exchanging fluids with people but I liked being sexual and I sure did love the attention! My first shift started around 6 pm that evening. I parked on 9th ave and walked down to 42nd Street. I reported to the manager and he said, “There is a dressing room upstairs with lockers. Get yourself together and be back here in 20 mins and report to booth 23.” I proceeded up the stairs,opened the door to the dressing room and let me tell you, that room was jammed packed! It was a very large room but it was jammed. You quickly learn to wear your outfit under street clothes, because there is barely anywhere to store your things.. I noticed these ladies were smoking a joint. Man, I could use a joint at that moment – I should have at least brought my own. Totally disgusted with this scene, I headed for my booth. It was time to work.
As I was looking around I noticed I was stationed close to some very strong and aggressive women. I put my bag down inside my booth, and the adventures began! Dressed in full leather, I held my head up high. You could say I looked pretty dominant! I loved to look sexy and strong. I had that part down, but the concept of dominance in the form of a sexual dominatrix was a horse of a different color. I really didn’t grasp a true understanding of it at first. I mean, I knew that you talk nasty and spank men- but there is so much more to the psychology of it all. Still, I’m dressed to play the part and totally act like I know what I’m doing. Looking around I notice this Black lady walking around with an attitude like she owned the place. When she walked around, her hips moved slowly and with purpose- it was like a slow pounce she took with every breath. She commanded attention and demanded respect. I liked watching her use her power!
I started to get men in my booth and most of them were attracted to my height and size. That part was great but I really didn’t really have the verbiage down yet- but these men were willing to teach me. I laughed at a lot of them through this process .When I started to get the feel of it, the men would get mad because I was laughing at how pathetic they were. If they wanted me to stop laughing, I’d say, “Fuck you! I am in charge here, you worthless piece of shit. “Oh yeah, I finally got it..It clicked ! Let the dominance begin! Things were progressing fast and I was making tips and a percentage of tokens from the booth. I found myself in need of a bathroom break, so I got permission to leave and to go relieve myself. As I get to the bathroom I see that black lady coming up behind me. I introduced myself and she seemed really cool . So I said, “Yeah man, I could really use a joint about now!”. I mentioned that earlier in the dressing room there were two chicks smoking and I wanted some weed so bad. She turned to me and started laughing. She reached up and pulled off her wig, and smirks-“Hey girl, that was me!”I was like holy shit! What a transformation! Seriously, the chick in the dressing room had short dirty hair and she had on a flannel shirt. We laughed and she said,”Hey girl, I’ll show you how to really hustle this place later.” I felt great-the baddest chick in here is on my side..She took me under her wings ! Streetwise Wings!
Later that night she pulled me to her booth and snuck me in. I’m wondering what the fuck we are about to do. She says,”Shhh… I got some cash now- get up on my stool and open your legs. Believe me it’s all fake!”. I anxiously jumped into position- I mean I really didn’t want her to go down on me. All of a sudden she is on her knees in front of me, moving her head around making it look like she was eating me out. It was fake, but I started to moan and rub my breasts and went with it! In moments it was over and she handed me like 300 bucks. Hell yes! I went back to my booth, feeling pretty good about this. At the time, I really liked the seediness and the hustle. It was a complete turn-on.
I was ready to leave around 3am and head back upstate, to go home.. Before I hit the door, I ran into Mistress Black again. She asked if I had a car and I told her I did. She said she lived in Harlem and wanted to know if I could drop her off there. I agreed, of course. She said she would be right back, and to meet her by the side entrance. When she returned, she came down the stairs in her beat up street look. She had stripped down her makeup, pulled the wig off, and she was wearing a backpack. We got in the car and she said, “I got some coke for you for the ride home.” I was like thanks! Then she said, “I have some advice for you. First of all, never come in looking like you do when you get here. Leave the side entrance at night in street clothes.” She was making a lot of money and knew she would be ripped off otherwise. There were many similar nights that followed. She would give me a little bit of coke every night. I’d do one nice line, then drive an hour and 20 minutes to get home. Tim would be getting up for work so I would put the rest out for him and he would snort it, have coffee, and smoke a bone. Then the kids would get up, so I would make them breakfast and send them to school on the bus. Then I would just crash.
I had a good relationship with Show World. They learned of my upcoming layout in Juggs magazine and asked if I would do live sex shows on the third level in The Triple Treat Theatre. Once again I was wondering exactly who I would be having sex with and they said it was an older woman from over 40 magazines.
By this time I had started to get to know a few of the other ladies. I had another week before the big Juggs layout would be published. They began to put up flyers which advertised that I would be featured in The XXX theater the following week. Life was good!
I remember walking by a booth and noticing a girl who looked like she was about twelve years old..She pulled me aside and said,”WOW! I wanna do what you’re doing! I wanna be in porn films and model!” I told her to go for it, but it might not be all it’s cracked up to be and to be careful. In reality, she was in college and she played the little girl act real well. She was a cute, itty bitty blonde with an adorable face-almost too cute to be in this scene.
As you may have gathered, this venue was not exactly upscale. In fact, some days the guys would come in and treat it as if it were a subway station. These men came in every race, size, shape and form- rich, poor, crazy, you name it.
There was a curvy older Spanish woman that always had the booth to my right. I started to notice that she always had crossdressers and couples visit her .Every day she wore the same leather skin tight dress! I had never seen her wear anything different. Regardless, she built up regulars and attracted plenty of customers. One day I asked how she got so many couples and what was she doing? In her broken English, she tried to explain that she is always a dominatrix. I told her that I didn’t quite understand the whole concept of that yet and that I was getting better, but I was faking it until I made it in that arena. She then went into her booth and proceeded to come back out with a paperback book. The book was a story about dominance, and explained the psychology of why people like to dominate or be dominated!. Hell yeah! Suddenly, I felt a weird sense of security in this crazy fantasyland. I was finding new facets of my character. Early on, I learned that going into the fetish world was good. It was sexual but safe! No sex-just a good mind fuck and release.
Show World paid me $2,500 per week for so-called live sex shows. I performed two shows each night of the week.
When I arrived the first night, I was taken to a big dressing room and I thought this is more like it!
Then came the introduction to the lady from Vegas that I would be doing live sex shows with. She looked fairly classy and I sensed that she had an attitude- which would be proven to be right as the week went on. She was featured in over 40 magazines, and I think she was around 55 years old.. However, she looked great for her age. Apparently her dressing room sucked and did not like that I had been given the larger one- I did not know this at the time.
Despite the fact that she wasn’t all that happy with our situation, she came in to talk about how we would proceed with a sex show. There was an adult sex toy store downstairs in the building. so they would give us different products to use in order to encourage the men to buy them on their way out. We agreed to use a strap on. She did not like me, so we had no chemistry and even the best acting was not going to work! I think we did one show and I basically shoved a hard strap on dildo into her, doggie-style. It was a very cold experience and not what I was going to do for my big feature spot- but it went by fast enough, then I retreated back to my dressing room. Soon afterward, Madame Vegas comes in and tries a new approach with me. She almost seemed nice. After some small talk, she told me that I would never make it in Vegas. She then asked how much I was getting for the week, and when I told her the shit hit the fan! Evidently, no one had mentioned to her that I was the main feature and she had felt superior to me for some reason. Needless to say, the rest of the shows we did were solo- basically, live masturbation. It made me feel alive and released from this woman’s negative shit!
Prior to this experience, when I was dancing in clubs I had always done a rock-themed show- so I had a leather dress when starting the next show. I was feeling powerful! Right before the show, the store had given me some Ben-Wa balls. I didn’t really know what they were supposed to do, but as I got dressed I put them inside of myself.
I was just thinking about becoming a powerful presence when I went out to do this thing solo! The metal chords crank up and Judas Priest begins blaring as I approach the stage. I felt totally in control and ready to rock this crowd!
I strutted to center stage and looked at my audience.I started moving to the music and felt every single eyeball on me..watching. The guitar solo starts screaming and I stomp my right leather boot to the ground real hard. All of a sudden, the ben wa ball shot out my pussy! It hit the ground with a loud BOOM!, ricocheted off the stage and hit a guy right in his glasses! Oh shit! Then I started laughing and the other one shot out and hit a metal piece of a theater chair! I had totally forgotten that I had them in there. This actually made the crowd aroused, and the show was a hit!
Mrs. Vegas avoided me for the rest of the week. I found out she only got paid $800, so there went her superiority complex toward me. Bitch! I was great- I had support from my street girls whom I got to know working the peep shows for the few weeks before this!
It is my last night and I am very excited to wrap this up. I got my big fat check and then I was told to go down to the basement of the building in order to cash it! Let me tell you, In the bowels of this dark basement is alot of fucking money! First, they have you sign the check and give it to a guy through the jail-like window. Then the money machine just shot out all my cash. The dude smiles and hands it to me, and I proceed to shove it all in my boobs. I slipped out of the side door and met up with Mistress Black and we did our usual ride through Harlem. The only difference this night was that I asked her to get me an 8-ball of coke to celebrate.
Street smarts, hustle, and finding your strength and character. Breaking the mold-that’s what it’s about.
A few weeks later I did my first domination film with Rick Savage Productions. When the cover arrived , guess what? That little blonde girl who said she wanted to be in porn business was on the front cover with me and a few other acts! I was like wow..she did it! How weird we ended up on the same cover!!